the choices we make

A month ago I was made a victim of the recession and a bad boss. I walked away knowing that I did everything I could to keep my integrity and know that their loss was my gain. I had been wanting to leave for a while but due to a number of reasons (laziness being one), I never did. I had even sent out feelers for jobs, but did not feel the need to pursue them as yet. But, that door was opened for me a little premature for my liking and it was a good kick up the backside.

Since then I took 3 weeks off to be a LOL - lady of leisure. This encompassed 3 weeks of 10 am wakeups, 11am Gym workouts, hours of facebooking and internet surfing, a couple of LOL lunches, 3.30pm siestas, perfecting my roast chicken, baking way too many strawberry friands and anzac cookies and of course watching the horrendous day time tv (yup, Days of our Lives included).

I did however make it somewhat productive by organising some locum work, reorganising my files on the laptop, a minimal amount of study and running all the little errands you always want to do but can never be bothered. Locumming is interesting and I can see the appeal that it has on some. There is less responsibility and subsequently less stress but it is always a little annoying as you need to organise yourself very well and find/choose work constantly. This time I have taken off is time for me to reflect on my career choices among other things. Do I locum some more and explore different practices and keep some flexibility in my life or find some full time stable work and work late nights and weekends?

I was offered a job last week with fantastic pay but not great working conditions and at an inconvenient location. I have struggled for the past week on whether to take this high paying job and run the risk of not enjoying it and leaving unhappy or to continue with locumming, enjoying some flexible hours/days, and continue searching for a better job. While some people can take a job because they are desperate or need one and work unhappily and without motivation or passion, I simply can't. I have to enjoy coming to work, knowing that I am there to care for my patients and work happily with my colleagues. I have to be happy with staying back a little later to secure that last sale and finish my last referral letter. Otherwise, what is the point?

There seems to be a positive correlation between one's age and importance of life choices. These choices get harder because we know they start a chain of events that can change you, your family, your friends, your lifestyle and your peace of mind. While I am working out my choices another friend of mine has worked out hers.

In a bit of surprising and wtf-type news, a friend of mine has recently announced that she is marrying her boyfriend of less than a year. Somewhat surprised I asked 'why so soon?' and she laughed and replied 'Im pregnant!'. A part of me did not initially feel happy for her or excited and rather more shock and disbelief - shot gun wedding from an unplanned pregnancy - whoa! I thought about it afterwards that this was her choice and she was happy with it, so as her friend I can only support and be happy for her and hope that this is truly the right choice for her.

But I still think sometimes 'did you not hear of protection?'. Choices...